reality

People aren't really the center of the universe, he said, but they're the ones who make the most noise about it, so you usually just end up agreeing with them so they'll go away & leave it quiet enough to get stuff done...


I feel like a terrible person, most of the time. I get frustrated with people around me, people i love. I get overwhelmed with simple tasks i never used to blink an eye at. washing dishes, doing laundry, driving in rush hour. I enjoy those things, but they feel so meaningless. What is next? Where am i going? Who am I?

I am blessed

thankful
a wife
a daughter
a sister
a friend
talented
loved

it doesn't matter what is next. it doesn't even matter if i think i am ready for it. Here it comes.

The Love of my Life.

Josh and I have been together about 4 years now. In that time i have spent about 9months overseas and he has spent about 6 months overseas. we are pretty familiar with being away from each other and are now ready to be together. Even if that means leaving the country again, at least we will be doing it together.



I wanted to put up some pictures of our engagement session. Keep in mind that we were laughing almost the entire time!


It wouldn't have been the same without pictures on the bike!


My great grandparents have an engagement picture where they are at a picnic. we are trying to recreate the image. However, we couldn't stop laughing. the picture frame is the image we are trying to recreate.



We are getting married the 11th of September this year. we are very excited!

You don't ALWAYS have to use an accronym.

I havn't figured out if this is a new trend because people are getting more lazy or if it is related to how we send messages via our cell phones. (probably neither)

I always vowed i would never shorten my words when texting. However, I must admit since i now have a phone with a full key board sometimes it is so much easier to type u(you).

The problem for me lies in the fact that people are carelessly using acronyms for phrases that have already established a meaning. Such as...

BS: Now, I don't know how many of you think of Bible Study when you hear those initials... but that is NOT what came to my mind.

BM: I recently got engaged and have been searching on bridal websites. SO many people abbreviate Bridesmaid with BM... I just feel like you would be able to figure out that one...


those are just a few that i have heard recently. Is it that hard to just say the whole word?

i think not.

America, the land of oppotunity awaits...

Hanging out in Tacloban...


Tonight is my last night in Bohol. Last week Friday the students had their annual science fair at the High School. I was asked to be one of the judges. It was a blast and I spent all day with the students. They are very talented and I was impressed with their knowledge of the projects they created. After the winners were announced in the late afternoon the students had a surprise thank you hour for me. They danced, had skits, and gave gifts to send me off.

some friends in Leyte:


This is going to be much harder than I thought. I didn’t realize how much this has become my home. When am I ever going to get the opportunity to use this language again? Not only the sign language, but the spoken language.

You can never really anticipate how you are going to feel in certain situations. One thing I have learned though is that reacting in a polite and considerate way to whoever is involved gets you much further than being offended.

I returned to Leyte on Saturday and Sunday for the last time until the Lord calls me back to the Philippines. Although it was technically only one full day, it was worth it. As I waited at the airport with several of my closest Pinoy friends from Tacloban there were two volunteers who had been volunteering with the organization Volunteer for the Visayans. The same company I worked with two years ago. One was headed to Manila to go back to Holland and the other, from Belgium, still has one more week. As soon as it was found out that I am from America they started drilling me with all these questions that I soon realized were to reveal that American’s in fact, are stupid.

I can usually read people really well and I knew this is exactly what their intention was. When I was asked what language they speak in Holland I was relieved to have somehow acquired that knowledge along my path and almost every other question they threw at me. I stood my ground and happily attempted to answer their questions and with each answer at least mostly right I always would ask to make sure, partially because I wasn’t 100% positive and also because I wanted to play into their game instead of giving them the satisfaction of feeling like they got me. Between you and me, I am glad they didn’t ask me where either of their countries sit on a map. I have never met anyone from either of those countries so I considered the encounter a success. However, I wouldn’t count on them as Facebook friends any time soon.

I took the same trip to get to Tacloban as I always do. I usually use the bathroom after the long 4 hour bus ride before getting onto the boat and spending 3 hours on the ocean. This time the tricycle driver told me my boat has a bathroom on it. I got a little excited. Wow.. a bathroom on the boat. It must be a decent boat this time. It was a little bigger than the normal one. About 50 people can fit on it. Still no actual chairs, you just sat on what you could fine.

The Bathroom was a board that was cut out of the bottom of the boat about 1.5 ft by 6 inches and surrounded by four walls to block off the visual for anyone. I suppose this was successful in the fact that you were just peeing directly into the ocean. However, I will say, it took a little skill. And I was surprised with yet another new experience.

The second new experience I had was my trip back to Bohol last night. I got a ticket on a shipping boat that leaves 10pm and arrives 3am. It was less than $4 and worked perfectly time wise. I got a spot on the top of the ship, open air. They have bunk beds lined up as close together as possible to fit as many people up there as they can. I was number 488. It was really a big barge. I loved it. I am not sure it was the safest thing, but it was a new adventure anyway.

I have a couple more days of traveling alone, then I will finally arrive back in America, lord willing, and vow to be done traveling by myself for awhile.

I'm Pressing On.

I won’t sit back and take this anymore, I’m done with that. I’ve got one foot out the door, I’m Pressing On.

Coke from a bag:
(they only have glass bottles and you can't take them away from the stands, so they poor it into a bag with a straw.)


Last week Friday I woke up at 2:30a.m. just to catch the morning bus at 4:30a to reach Ubay, Bohol in order to take the 8:45a boat to Bato, Leyte. There is a van that leaves at 6am from the same bus terminal and reaches Bato about the same time, 8:45. However, I feel safer in the giant steel bus. I found myself allowing anxiety to well up inside my chest as we neared the port. I have taken this route many times in the past because it is about $7 total rather than the 30$ by plane it would take me to get to the other island.

This small boat has taken me safely to the other island many times in the past, but my confidence in its tiny structure was minimal at this moment. I even planned ahead for some kind of mishap on the ocean, so I left my laptop at home since I have pictures on it that would be lost forever should the boat sink.

Once arriving safely on the island of Leyte I had one more van ride from Bato to Tacloban. 3.5 hours later I found myself stepping into Vanessa’s car at the meeting place, McDonalds downtown Tacloban. Vanessa had bought the car in December when I was there with Josh and has now learned to drive on the crazy roads of this third world country. Somehow, I get around just fine on my motorcycle but can not imagine driving a car.

Vanessa and her car, Sam:



Friday night we met up with a few friends that I haven’t been able to see since I arrived here 6 months ago. It was much needed medicine. On Saturday Vanessa and I went all around Tacloban and had a friend, Jam, drive us everywhere. This was a more elite way of living than I have experienced here. No jeepneys, tricycles, or peddy cabs. We would just shop a little then wait for Jam to pull around and pick us up.




This place had no memories of Scott nor of Lee, so I was able to let go of all of that. Most of these people didn’t even know what had happened, so I didn’t need to spend time dwelling on it, or explaining why we were so curious about the cave in the first place. Although my mind often wondered to thoughts of Lee, I refrained from texting him all but twice, to let him know I was doing alright and to respond to his messages checking in on me.

Sunset in Samar:


Sunday morning we got up at 4am to pick up my friend from Manila, Irvin, at the airport. Since this was his first time in the province of Leyte we took him all around. The province of Samar is connected to Leyte by a giant bridge called the San Juanico bridge. It is a famous tourist place. We took a road trip about 2 hours to reach a beautiful resort on the province of Samar. This was also my first time here. We could not swim in the ocean due to the jelly fish, but I was excited to have a pool.





Monday and Tuesday were full of more touring around Leyte and laughing a lot. I had so much fun with these great friends. I love Bohol, but as I have said before, my best friends are in Tacloban. I can live without the white sandy beaches and tourist malls of Bohol if I had these friends around me all the time.

It is only 12 days now before I arrive back in the US A and I am trying to prepare myself for whatever reality might bring. But in the process of this, I realized that THIS is my reality. Right here, my Bungalow in Bohol. After each trip I took, whether it be to Indonesia, Tacloban, or just spending a night somewhere else in Bohol, I always feel relaxed coming back ‘home’.

Once returning to Bohol I took Irvin and a friend from Bohol to one of the white beaches and my favorite place to watch the sun set. It was a great end to a wonderful week with friends. who would have known there could be such great people even on this side of the world!

It is high tide right now, so it was difficult to sit in the water for a picture:











I spent all afternoon until late into the evening recapping my week with Deb and Lee. I am going to miss them the most. Their contract is up with IDEA also the end of March and they will be returning to Virginia. So, they won’t be too far away. Lee has been able to sleep the past 3 nights without medication, but his elbow is still swollen something terrible. I do not think it is normal, but the doctors here all tell him he should already have full mobilization. But he is taking it slow before trying to do pull ups again.

Things are going well. Thank you for keeping up with what is going and for the wonderful emails and messages. It has helped this time go much more smoothly. Please do not stop, as my anticipation to arrive home is heightened, I know I will really miss this place.
Preparing to leave what has become my normalcy and arrive once again into an unknown world,

Toni

It still feels like summer time here..

Lee and I spent the one week anniversary at the Maribojoc Burungy hall thanking those who swiftly came to the rescue of the ignorant foreigners. One thing I didn’t expect was the pain and anguish many of these people have also been facing since the moment they decided to break from their day of rest, climb a mountain most of them had only admired from their homes, and save some people who never should have been there to begin with.

The sincerity of the situation filled the room as Lee handed out small gifts of thanks including some sandals to three men who had broken theirs, yet continued to carry the makeshift stretcher with either Lee or Scott laying inside down the mountain barefoot. There were two men in particular who had wet eyes during the entire meeting.

Even if you have never been to a tropical place most of you know the slow pace life the people live. Piecing together the time frame that things happened I can see more and more miracles unfold within the situation. It is a huge blessing that everyone moved as quickly as they did to get everyone off the mountain before sundown.

My mind is still filled with moments of that day. I am still trusting that God has me right where he intends me to be. And somehow this brings more and more peace.

Lee went back to the Dr. yesterday and found out that he broke the small bone in his left arm also. When he arrived they only X-rayed his elbow where he was bleeding out. Since the pain continued near his wrist he went back to get another X-ray and sure enough… his forearm is broken too. His elbow seems to be healing fine, so that is good.

I had prepared a trip about a month ago to visit my friends in Leyte this coming Friday. I am still going to take this trip. I was thinking about canceling for fear of something happening on one of the small boats I take to get from the different islands. I also considered buying a plane ticket instead since it is only about 10$ more and the boats seem to sink much more frequently than a plane goes down.

I know that Scott would not want me to quit taking the adventurous path, so I will still plan on taking my unplanned itinerary. Catching either a van or a bus pending on what is leaving the soonest when I arrive at the Bus terminal, taking whatever small boat is leaving soonest to one of the two towns in Leyte that I would recognize and lastly probably riding a van the two hours down the windy mountain to the city where my heart first broke for the Deaf around the world, Tacloban. I miss my friends there.

Thank you everyone who has been praying and emailing. I appreciate every word sent my way. I tell Lee about the emails I get and that everyone back home is praying for him. He also says thanks, even though he doesn’t really believe in God. However, he lets me pray at supper when I eat over there too. They are an amazing family and we are taking care of each other well. So, don’t worry about me. I am in good hands. I always have been.

On Christ the Solid Rock I stand.

I can hardly believe a whole week has passed by already. I am glad it is over, but can't really place where i was for most of it.

Scott's memorial here in the Philippines was beautiful. A fire on one of the white beaches. The moon was overwhelmingly orange as it slowly rose from what seemed to be behind the ocean, almost as if it was imitating the sun rising. i have never seen anything like it. The world seemed flat. It lost its orange glow after it had risen several meters into the night sky. I am of course only using my arm lengths to measure the sky. since I am not a astrologist, i have no other equipment.

We told stories of Scott around a fire and lit candles inside of coconut halves, wadding into the ocean and releasing them together, symbolizing a collective freeing of his spirit. it was beautiful. He is in Australia now and they will bury him at his favorite place on his parent's farm this coming Tuesday.



When my world falls apart and the light turns to dark
When the clouds gather ‘round and the storms overwhelm
When my heart breaks in half and my strength cannot last
When I’m lost in this land and I can’t see Your plan...

I'll Stand.

God's Glory is all around.

As I lay awake in the early hours of Friday morning still unable to remain sleeping after the initial hour I am capable of obtaining, most of you are well into your Thursday routines. Instead of counting sheep I have carefully numbered all three calendars in my possession from 29 down to the day I plan to leave. I could make a paper chain with 29 links. But I picture myself dramatically ripping off one link a day and being unsatisfied with the short moment of gratification that act would bring. So instead, I will write another blog.

Since arriving here in September I have been blessed with getting to know Lee Duncan, his wife Deborah and their three boys. Harrison (8), Jordan (6), and William (5). The boys all refer to me as Miss Toni and William says in the most genuine voice almost every time I enter their home, while grabbing my hand, “ wow Miss Toni, you are Beautiful today.”

My very first adventure was only a week after I had arrived. It just so happened to be my birthday. I went to a waterfall with their entire family. It was about a 40 minute motorcycle ride and then about a 30 minute walk through some jungle area. We had a few children from the burungy leading us. There were three caves you could swim into all in that same pool. Many first time experiences for me:
1. seeing a waterfall
2. jumping off of a waterfall
3. swimming into a cave underneath a waterfall
4. having a 6 year old talk me into climbing up high again and again to jump into the gleaming blue pool below.



Deb, Lee, and Jordan just leaped from the top:


I had begun to look forward to the adventures with Lee. Even when we would go visit the elementary schools around the island I knew we would accidentally find some side road that probably had something interesting for us to examine at the end, or at least along the way. I had come to appreciate the incredible beauty this place held.




Even before I was a Christian I remember the amazement I had with the beauty of nature. Most of my interest came in following Chanda around. We would always find some kind of plant and try to taste it to see if it was edible. Especially after moving onto the farm, I was introduced to God’s beauty in a way that the town didn’t offer.

Of course, the beauty of what God created on this side of the world looks much different than that on the farm. But I have come to appreciate it just as much. Many of the places Lee has taken me to he discovered with Scott, or was introduced to the place by Scott. So, thank you Scott. I never had an urgent feeling to visit Australia, but Scott has some great places to visit in his home country as well. I have heard from his friends that the farm his parents own is a beautiful sight and worth the trip alone.

Several years ago I had eaten at a Chinese restaurant with my new laptop (at that time.) The fortune inside my cookie said, “Take the chance while you still have the choice.” It has been taped on my laptop ever since. I bring it up only because this was a motto that Scott lived by. Even though he was only 30 years old, he had a lot of adventure and did a lot of great things. His best friend told me that Scott would always say, “if you want to be somewhere, Go There. If you want to do something, Do It.” These are not new ideas to any of us. But a good reminder to those of you who may be sitting there paying off your mortgage, planning to retire and wondering why it is you never did… Go There, Do It.

RIP Scott...

I am sitting here in the quiet listening to the crickets, roosters, and lizards trying to makes sense of the last couple days.

As soon as i saw the vast mountain range I tried to mentally prepare myself for the steep climb ahead. we parked our motorcycles underneath the closest mango tree and tried to get ourselves situated. Scott moved my bike because he thought the way i parked it was not sufficient. I made a comment how I am used to letting guys think they are helping me out. :)

The climb was steep and i was complaining already about 15 minutes up. My ears popped and i had lost most of the energy i was hoping my bowl of oatmeal and mango would provide through the afternoon. We did stop several times to enjoy the beautiful scenery of the ocean and mountains behind us. Scott told us some story about elves helping out the locals. I only wish now I would have paid closer attention to what he was saying.

After about an hour we reached a house and about 30 minutes later reached the cave. It was a beautiful place a little ways off the trails. The giant spider webs suggested that nobody has been there, at least not for a long time. The tree leading to the cave was beautiful and hung over it as if it was protecting something. I assessed the area and began destroying cob webs as soon as i knew where i wanted to set down my bag. Scott and Lee began discussing the possibilities of what might be below.

We tied the rope to a nearby tree and lowered down a bag of supplies. By the time the bag reached the bottom we had run out of rope. So we knew that it was 150ft deep, 8ft wide, and about 20ft long. Scott insisted on being the first one down. He began testing the rope, deciding if it was going to be safe or not. A few moments later he said that he was kind of slipping and we decided not to go down. So he said, pull me up.. Lee began to pull the rope back up and Scott said he couldn't hang on.. and he let go. He fell from the top of the cave.

Lee yelled a couple times to see if Scott would respond and we heard nothing. He decided to go down and administer first aid. I took of running with my cell phone to find the nearby house we passed. nobody was around and i realized that i had just left before I knew if Lee had made it safely to the bottom. So i ran back to cave.

Lee had only made it safely to the bottom but fell about 30 ft onto his left side breaking his elbow. i took Harrison and we went to go get help. I was completely disoriented and took a few wrong turns. after an hour and a half i was able to get some cell phone service. realizing now I was about 2 miles from the cave.

I can not remember what was actually going through my mind until after i had reached someone to come and get help. The SWAT team arrived along with the fire department, mountaineering club, locals, and friends of ours to search the mountains. Nobody knew where the cave was and I didn't even know the name of the place we were at.

I found out later that the SWAT came in because the area we were trekking is a well known area for the NPA (new people's army... a terrorist group here). that also explains why there were no other houses or anyone living on that mountain.

After a couple hours of trying to direct the SWAT team, they made it to the cave and contacted me to let me know. I grabbed Harrison and we went back onto the trail and I tried to backtrack the same way we came... There was a group of people out yelling for us. The way the mountain range is laid out, the voices are very misleading. about four times it sounded like people's voices were so close and we were trying to follow where it was coming from, then we would loose them completely and not hear anything for a long time. But we were able to meet up with them on the path right before dark and get off the mountain. i had never been so relieved to see a group of Filipinos.

they were able to get Scott and Lee out of the cave. Lee is out of the hospital now and Scott's body is in Manila with the Australian Embassy getting ready to go back to his parent's home.

Scott is an amazing guy. He was only in the Philippines for 2 years but made a huge impact on the environmental causes in several towns as well as touched many lives. His memorial was held at a beach last night. The stories people told were really great to hear. I still can not really grasp the reality of the situation. But i know that God has had his hand in it. we were able to get off the mountain before dark.

I don't know how to end this... because it is still processing in my mind. I thought after writing this it would be better... but my head is still spinning.

i got all of our belongings from the police department yesterday and got the pictures off my camera today. but i think i will not post any of them.

I am Hungry...

I think I will start this post with an apology. For I have heard from many people that they enjoy reading my blog because I am witty, clever, and interesting. However, it is not news to me that my last few posts have been somewhat less witty and probably full of non-existing humor.

Truth is, I lay in bed at night thinking of clever ways to put my stories into words but by the time I wake up and get myself to the office in front of my computer the cleverness has somehow slipped off my fingers onto the murky roads it takes me to travel here.

So, I apologize, but this blog is going to be another insight into what is exactly happening in my struggle to figure out life as I know it at the moment.

This past weekend I took two days to focus on prayer, meditation, and reading my bible. It was wonderfully awful. Incredibly painful, yet absolutely beautiful. I still have no idea what it is that God is leading me to exactly, yet I know that He has something spectacular in mind. By that I mean, whatever it is I do, He will be the one to get the Glory. Which has become my ultimate goal.

Last week I also encountered a couple who told me about the call God has on my life and prayed for me on the street in front of everyone. If you want to hear the story.. just email me. It is kind of long.

I long not to be famous, but to be faithful. This is a fight within everyone of us whether we believe in God or not. The self-exaltation and pride that creeps up within each of us. I will be the first to admit that I must fight this urge to do something that will put my name in lights… and instead show His glory to those who do not know it. That is, ultimately why I have a blog… Hey Everyone… Look at what I am doing! What a terrible self-exalting trick we all play with ourselves. This struggle within me is probably why I have stopped trying to be so clever and started to be incredibly honest with you, that you may challenge me in the issues I raise.

I spent the afternoon into the evening yesterday, Sunday, trying to wrap my mind around how I would be able to start an organization that helps Deaf children around the world. What a large task. That is TOO much for me to even think about. Each time I do think about I begin to weep. You can not possibly teach these children about love if they have no education much less no language at all! Where to begin? It is TOO much Lord, TOO much!

Deuteronomy chapter 8: God has led the Israelites into the desert for 40 years and they are HUNGRY. They begin to complain to God and to Moses about the fact that they are hungry and that God isn’t providing for them. They are in a Desert, No food around, No comprehension of how they will be able to eat soon and then… GOD PROVIDES. He provides them with Manna… This is something not only they had never seen but their fathers had never seen… God created something that had never existed in the human mind up until that point to satisfy the need of His people so they can continue on in His will.

‘Gods plan, done in God’s way, will never lack God’s resources.’ –Hudson Taylor (a man who is probably the single most responsible person for the salvation of thousands in China still to this day.)

So, what am I to worry about? (matt 6) I will seek a miracle that of the Manna. God will have to do something out of my comprehension in order to get this organization started, to begin to help these Deaf children all over the world who have no hope at this moment. This is my Holy Ambition. (Romans 15)

I have 39 days left here. To some of you those will be short days and for some.. they might be longer. However, to me... they are exactly enough for what God is doing here.

growing increasingly hungry yet satisfied everyday...

Toni

Toni

Mostly Speratic...

I realize the January 20th is not the ideal time to create your New Years resolution list, much less start any of the items on the list. So, even though i am putting some of these in writing, i am not going to pressure myself to complete them... since we are already 20 days into the new year.

.........


.........

those dots are supposed to represent the time i spent trying to come up with some New years resolutions..... I guess i am just meant to live one day at a time. So, instead of coming up with things that I want to accomplish this year, I will highlight my random ongoings in life on this blog throughout my time. Anyway, i don't have a specific itch to do one thing or another anymore. I will just take the activities that arise and leave the others for later.



Things have really been coming together the past couple of days. The Senioritis type feelings that were rising inside of me have someone ceased, at least died down quiet a bit. I am appreciating the 105 degree weather and sporting the shorts and tank tops even to the office.

I eat the fresh fruits and veggies with total and utter appreciation for the fact that when i arrive home everything will be frozen, including the vegetables. What they call 'fresh' at the supermarket will never compare to the experience of this greatness my mouth takes advantage of in every bite.

the sunsets here are absolutely breath taking everyday. The clouds that surround each evening are more impressive to me each night. Even more impressive than the orange and pink glow that seems to cascade from heaven itself onto the shores of the ocean.






I have always loved rain. The warm rain here is somewhat refreshing. Even as i speak right now a cloud burst open and is pouring water outside the window to the left of me. The amazing scent of freshness and a slight and ever so short cool breeze sneaks in past the warming computers. But i look out the window in front of me across the room and the sun is still shining bright. This happens very often. A short rain on only part of the sidewalk. Beauty and quizzical happenings like this, i enjoy and will miss.
Apparently I voiced this opinion just now out loud. I am told that this is called a Sunny Rain and it means that one of the gods is getting married. Supposedly the god that has a horse head and human body. So, congratulations Horsehead god on your special day. Also, this happens at least once a week so there must be many of that species in Asia. To clarify, they are Catholic, but they hold a lot of the native superstitions that were here even before the Spanish, Japanese and Americans took over.
The real reason is that the pressure breaks up the clouds from the scattered islands and the rain is short lived.

I do have a confession to make though. i miss Vikings games. especially when i keep getting amazing updates on how they are doing. To be honest... I was pretty upset about the whole Brett Farve thing... but come on, who cares how we get there as long as we do! I have some friends who enjoy making Parody songs. This one is great and has been played on the radio in the cities. Please feel free to forward the link.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5Vl8YakINc


i think that is enough speratic comments for one day. I need to get back to work.

hope you are all doing well. Emails are appreciated. :)

A personal note

As I sat alone in my bungalow last week I started thinking to myself, “Why was it that I came here again?”

I don’t mean ‘here’ as in the Philippines… to be honest I couldn’t wait to get back to this country before I left it the first time. However, why did I come to Bohol?
Why didn’t I go back to Leyte?
What was my reasoning for working on this island… at least 6 hours travel away from where my enlightenment of the 3rd world Deaf came from?
What is going to happen to those children in Tacloban, Leyte that I first met almost exactly two years ago?
Have I even made an impact where I am now?

Some of those questions can’t really be answered fully, yet. On Saturday night I reluctantly attended a birthday party for a 3year old who belongs to one of the teachers at the high school where I live. I say reluctantly not because I do not enjoy the company of this teacher or his now 3 year old daughter, I very much have appreciated their company over the past 4 months. But I say this because I have somehow developed an antisocial tendency. And the worst part about it is I have grown acquainted to this new behavior and somewhat enjoy it.

Those of you reading this who know me, understand this is not a part of who I am. I recognize this feeling though… the exact image mirroring my attitude when I first arrived at college. So far away from home, so many new people to potentially become my friends. Instead of relishing in the fact that I could meet a million new people, I shyed away and stayed in my room most of first semester and went home every single weekend for fear of making new friends and forgetting my old ones… or worse yet, that my old friends would experience the same excitement of meeting new people and forget me! This is a new revelation to me even as I type these words. I now see that I have developed this behavior once again for fear that I will get even closer to the amazing people I have met here, only to leave them for months maybe even years before I will see them again.

How ridiculous. I actually remember having a conversation resembling this situation with Almira, my host in Indonesia. She said, well isn’t it better to have known those people for a short time, allowing them to touch your life for those moments than to have never met them at all? I suppose she is right. Ok.. she is absolutely correct.

I see I have swayed from my original intention of this post. I met a man who worked on the IDEA board of directors for many years and then he and his wife lived in Bohol for 3 years teaching bible studies to some of the Deaf. He explained that one of the things he and his wife really wanted to see happen was an evangelism team to go out to the different elementary schools. But they were never able to get it going. This is the one thing that has taken up most of my time here, creating the 4 year evangelism curriculum for the elementary schools. And we have already been going to visit each school every other weekend. What a blessing to see that this task of mine was soaked in prayer three years ago… long before I had left the USA for the first time!

One of the Deaf women who works in fly-tying gave me several tips on how to teach bible stories to the elementary students. She told a few Old Testament stories in FSL so I could understand the importance of acting out the stories rather than telling them. Her rendition of Noah and the flood literally brought me to tears. It was tragic and devastating. Her facial expressions and actions made me feel like I was one of those who didn’t listen to Noah when he warned the people.

I could on for pages about my new revelations I have had in the past week, but most of them have come from just meditating on God and listening to John Piper sermons… so it would be rather boring for you to read. Anyway… keep praying for me… and never loose faith, I haven’t.

I was not ready for you either; 2010

I realize that it may be the fact that I have been on the other side of the world the past 4 months, but I was and frankly still am surprised that it is 2010. I am sure i am not alone in this. Was it really 10 years ago when i sitting with my friends just waiting for the global electronic collapse that would send everyone into chaos? indeed. And i can admit now, i was a little nervous... but come on, i was 13.

I wanted to wait and post about my time in Indonesia until I had my pictures to go along with the stories. My camera decided to quit, so I will have to wait until i have time to find someone with a card reader to get my pictures. Until then I will continue to leave you wondering exactly what happened over there.

There are a few things in 2009 that were left out of my blog and deserve a mention.

My baby sister had her Sr. Prom. Can you believe it was already 5 years ago since I graduated high school? She was absolutely beautiful.




My best friend and her boyfriend were finally able to come and visit Upsala. She has been my best friend for about 4 years now. Having grown up in a suburb of Minneapolis, Upsala and the surrounding Small towns were sure a treat for Holli and Mark to experience. I didn't know touring Morrison County could be so much fun.






After taking a semester off to go to the Philippines Spring of 2008 I finally graduated college with my BA in Sign Language and English Interpreting in May of 2009. My whole family and even my Grandma Scott came to celebrate with me. What an honor.



After receiving a phone call from a friend I met 2nd year in college who had to leave due to financial reasons i found myself on the next flight to Florida for the weekend. This was my first time there. (i don't know where i put those pictures...)

This was a summer filled with weddings. Between my friends and Josh's friends we had plenty of free food almost every weekend.

Jenny and Ben Olsen (who are now living in Vietnam teaching English)




Courtney and Tyler Lange (she just gave birth to their 2nd baby boy 3 weeks ago!)



Laura and Joel Myer



One of my best friends tends to buy a crappy car near the end of its life every winter. He proceeds to drive it through the winter with fingers crossed. With the help of a few other guys he tears it apart in the spring for the Princeton Demo Durby. 2008 i was unable to attend the Derby because of my sister's birthday. This past year...August 2009, he took First place.

Congratulations Croy!



Even though graduating college is a really big deal, and winning first place in a demo derby is a big deal... nothing can compare to the wedding of best friends. Josh's best friend from High School, Brady and his (now) wife who has become one of my best friends over the past few years got married on September 5th. It was such an amazing time of friendship, love and laughter. There couldn't be a more perfect couple. Josh and I were both in the wedding. It was a great last HooRah before I left to the other side of the world on September 11th.

Mr. and Mrs. Haislet:



All the Bridesmaids and the Bride




Josh and I during the reception:





Things I did in 2009 that i have never done before:
jumped off a waterfall
taught a formal sign language class
rode a small boat from one island across the ocean to another island
ate chicken intestine, pork/beef skin, chicken liver, and numerous other foods
held a sea urchin
attended an indonesian wedding
learned how to pray like a Muslim
made my own silver ring
went river rafting
climbed a mountian
took 7 flights within 3 weeks
drove motorcycle in a 3rd world country
went scuba diving
held a shark
rode a sea turtle
made chili

went to Indonesia
(i have a few pictures that were sent to me from friends over there)



The first moments of 2010: A peak into what Indonesia had in store...

moments after the new year began on this side of the world:




at a rice farm:


River Rafting:






Life has been exciting in Asia. only 2 months left and I will be making memories of 2010 in America.

Drawing the line through 2009

I will refrain from giving details about the awesome time i am having in Indonesia until i can post pictures. But i have met some really cool people and i have laughed a lot. One guy was explaining that his dad is a vegetarian. He said he tried to be too but then he thought, if God didnt want us to eat animals why did he make them out of meat? I laughed a lot at that

also i asked one guy what his job was he responded, i am currently Self-Unemlpoyed. Haha

Anyway, happy new year as it is already 2010 on his side of the world. Miss you all and i will blog with pictures when i return in a couple days to my bungalow.

JAKARTA

I am really enjoying my time here and have already decided i will have to return inthe future. On Christmas day i went to the Sea World Indonesia. Almira has an inside link there so we were able to go scuba diving in the aqarium. This is something i said i would never do but after i caught the turtle who was the same size as me and let him pull me around i was cinvinced it was a good idea. I also was surprised by how friendly the sting ray are. Like cats. They rub against you and catch you off guard. One boy in our group was teasing a sting ray wih a fish instead of leting him eat it and he got bit in the head. No big deal. He is fine

We went to many museums and Almira has taken me all ariund Jakarta. Yesterday we entto an Indonesian Muslim wedding. T was beautifil. We went to the largest Mosk in Indonesia but somehow they figured out i wasnt Muslim and i was not allowed inside.

I have a really bad cil and have been loosing my voice. Lasb niht we went to a birthday party where they rented a room and we all sang kareoke. There are 3 microphones so you are never singing alone and since yoh rent a room ypu are only singing in front of your friends. We arrive home about 2am and got up at 5am. We are waiting at the train station where we will take a train to Jogja for 3 nights. After not geting enouh rest and screaming rock songs at the top of my lungsfor 3 hours i no longer hae a voice. This is very inconvient as English is not their first language and now they have to try and interpre my pathetic gasps of words i may be able to produce if any words at all. However Almira doesnt seem to mind.

Anyway i hope to post pictures soon. It has been crazy busy as Almira has every moment planned out.

Safe...

Josh made it home safe and I am here in Indonesia safe as well. I have only been here one day but I absolutely love it.

I went to see the tea fields and drank A LOT of different teas. There were terraces of Tea plants from as far as you could see. I ddin't get any good pictures because it was super foggy.

We also went to a place that has real dairy cows and the make specialty items with dairy... which is rare here. all the dairy products are imported. So I bought some fresh Mango yogurt and some Coffee milk. Delicious.

Almira was a foreign exchange student when i was in High School. I am staying with her. She has been a great host already. Her family is Muslim and she has been very accomodating to me and is teaching me more about the daily life of a Muslim. I was able to witness the afternoon prayer, the preperation and the details that go along with it.

I am really enjoying my time and it has not even been 24 hours. But she has MANY things planned for us. I am looking forward to it.

it is Christmas eve here.

MERRY CHRISTMAS>

Merry Christmas....

It is hard to imagine that it is only 2 days before Christmas without any snow on the ground and my habitual application of 45SPF. However, there are many decorations and Josh and I were able to ride around on the motorcycle and look at lights hanging from the trees and surrounding people’s houses. It was beautiful.

This past week was really for recovery. However, we both got terrible head colds and sore throats after returning from Tacloban and Josh has still not regained his appetite. In Bohol it is always very humid and hot, it does not rain for long periods of time, and it is exactly what you would wish the tropics to be. However, Tacloban is almost always raining and very chilly, well chilly for the tropics. I believe that going so suddenly from super hot to rainy and cold back to super hot in such a sort period of time really took us out.

Despite feeling groggy and out of it we were able to see the famous Chocolate hills, the tarsier (world’s smallest monkey that only habitats in Bohol), and my favorite water fall. Every moment was a blast and we are thankful we have been able to spend this time together.

It is Monday morning at 5am and josh is still sleeping. The Catholic church near my bungalow woke me up at 4am with sweet tunes of Christmas songs for their 4am Mass. Starting 10 days before Christmas all the Catholic churches have services at 4am. It is beautiful. I don’t mind waking up to that. However, Josh seems to be able to sleep right through it. The water is turned off and I am contemplating making breakfast and leaving dirty dishes for 2 weeks in my sink. Probably not.

We fly to Manila at 9am this morning and meet up with my friend Irvin. We will be staying at his apartment for the next 2 nights before Josh flys out to America and I leave for Indonesia. I am so thankful to have such great friends who are willing to share their homes with me during this holiday season.

I miss all of you great friends, and I want you to know that I am ever so grateful for all of you as well. Merry Christmas. As I spend this time in a Muslim home, pray that I will not forget the reason for this beautiful time and the fact that I can travel to these places with His grace on my life.

....
I had typed that before we left Bohol and then my computer crashed. we have been in manila now for 2 days and we have had an exciting time. Both of us are feeling much better. Josh leaves in the morning and we are at a Starbucks in what they call 'little New York' here in Manila. It is beautiful.
Things we did in Manila:
went to the Mall of Asia
road in busses, vans, tricycles
ate at Krispy Kreme
went to a huge market and bargined with the locals
walked around Manila
made an american meal for my friend Irvin
Drank lots of Coffee
continued to remind each other that is in fact the week of Christmas even though there is no snow and we are wearing shorts...

I hope to update from Jakarta... but i will not bring my laptop with.


Love you!

Hopping Islands

This is inside of one of the caves we have explored:



Josh has been to many countries all over the world. Apparently it wasn’t until he arrived in the Philppines that he found a bacteria to take him out. Tuesday morning about 1am he woke up shivering cold but he was sweating and very hot. This lasted until about 5pm Tuesday night when I finally brought him to the hospital.

The hospitals here, although a 3rd world country, are very clean. They do not have the best equipment and they allow the possibility of tree gods cursing you to be the reason you are sick. However, the blood and urine test results only took an hour to process. Sure enough, he had some weird bacteria that wasn’t too happy about his body trying to kick it out. We went back to my homestay so he could rehydrate and rest some more. I ran to the pharmacy to get him some prescription Advil. I am not sure if I mentioned this before but Jerry, the father of the homestay I lived with, is well known for his great success in Cock Fighting. Due to the rain, jerry kept all 5 roosters in the house. So, this hindered Josh from getting fully rested.

Wednesday afternoon I forced him out of bed to come and meet the Deaf students I worked with two years ago. We caught a plane to the island of Cebu and found a really nice cheap hotel with air condition and NO roosters to spend the night. Laying in bed watching National Geographic at 6pm in a new exotic city on an island Josh has never been to was no ideal. But I knew he needed to rest.

Thursday morning I kept all the lights off and was very quiet until about 8am. Since the buffet breakfast was only open until 9… we had to get a move on. The most amazing continental breakfast you could imagine! Rolls, bacon, eggs, pancakes, rice, corned beef, coffee, tea, corn flakes, juices…. It was great! I felt bad that josh didn’t really have his appetite back yet. So, I ate for the both of us. 

This is the sunrise we saw when we camped on top of the mountain...







Josh rested a little more as I packed up the room and we headed to the Cebu City Market around 10:30am. It was HUGE. We walked and walked and walked. Josh didn’t enjoy the tricycles and the jeepney rides since his body is much bigger than any Filipinos who have to get in and out of them.

We caught the 2pm fast craft back to Tagbilaran City. This only took an hour and 45 mintues. Much better than the 8 hour trip in the beginning of the week. Upon arriving at the Pier we had many taxi drivers and tricycle drivers trying to convince us that 150P was a cheap price to get into town. However, I knew that we were only 800 meters away from where we needed to catch our jeepney. So we walked away and found an honest tricycle driver to take us all the way out of town for the appropriate price of 40P.

we only got caught in the rain one time in bohol:


I made soup and grilled cheese sandwiches with tea for supper. Hoping this will help Josh feel better. He went to bed early and I let him sleep until he woke up this morning, which was about 10am. So, we will see what the day brings us. He seems to be doing a lot better after getting a full night sleep with out roosters or me waking him up for any reason.

Thanks so much for your prayers. We love you!

9 days summerized...

After what seemed like the longest 42 days in my life, Josh arrived in Tagbilaran City. The past 9 days have been an absolute blast. We have done so much together that I think I will just sum up the events and only give detail on a few specific moments.
WE….
1. snorkeled
2. went camping on top of a mountain
3. saw an amazing sun rise over several cities
4. climbed a mountain
5. toured through 2 caves that required us to bring our head lamps. We stayed at a place for backpackers one night and met a guy whose grandpa had discovered some caves a long time ago. So we paid him to take us there. I was super nervous to enter the cave since the entrance was super small and I had to duck and maneuver my way into it… needless to say, it was even more maneuvering for josh to get in it. Once we got inside there were bats flying around and many unique cave creatures that were fun to see up close. We took a lot of pictures and even some video. The sound of the bats flying around was amazing.
6. held a queen ant
7. got caught in the rain
8. swam in the Loboc green river
9. ran out of gas
10. walked around downtown Tagbilaran (several times now)
11. bought some AWESOME shoes that both of us are really proud of
12. walked across a bamboo hanging bridge
13. saw an 85KL snake
14. got a flat tire
15. laughed a lot
16. drank a lot of coffee
17. got a massage
18. Ate supper at Lee and Deborah’s house (the other american’s here)
19. fell more in love with each other through every moment
20. Laughed so much I almost peed my pants several times… ( Krystal knows this is true more than anyone)
21. went to the market and bought some fresh food to make the best stir fry
22. Saw a movie on the release day in the theater then bought the dvd the next day in the market
23. Went to the market about 30km away famous for their baskets.
24. Found some locals to take us through the mountains to another cave. This cave had water running through it and we only had 2 flashlights between 5 of us. Once we reached the mouth of the cave I decided to sit this one out. I do not like the idea of traversing through a cave with running water and insufficient light. The sound and sight of the bats flying out of the inside of the cave the further the boys went in was amazing too.
25. Josh broke 2 pair of sandals within one hour. As soon as we exited the cave his sandal broke. He walked through the forest the rest of the way barefoot. He is such a trooper. We stopped at a market on our way to the next waterfall I was going to take him. Everyone who was selling shoes ran to him as soon as the saw a white guy walking around the market with no shoes. I thought it was very entertaining.
26. Once we arrived at the water fall Josh decided he wanted to try and climb up some rocks with the rushing current against him. This is when his ‘new’ pair of sandals broke.
27. We woke up early Monday morning to travel to Leyte. 2.5 hours by van, 2.5 hours by boat, 3.5 hours by van… we made it to Tacloban.

Josh became very ill yesterday and we ended up bringing him to the hospital near by. he had a 102 temperature. They gave us a prescription for Advil and sent us home. He is doing much better today. We will catch a flight to a near by island then a boat back to Bohol. All is well.

Tacloban is the city I lived in last year when I was here. We sang Karaoke for about 2 hours last night and were able to have a traditional Filipino supper with the family I lived with when I was here. The time is going by so fast, but we are able to experience so much together. Thank you so much for your prayers. We appreciate it!

pictures to come...

No Stock Ma’am.

Everyone here is so polite, especially to foreigners. After being here 3 months now I pretty much know what food I like to buy at the market and what foods I prefer to buy in the Supermarkets. They have 4 really big supermarkets with almost anything you could ever need or want in them. However I often encounter my favorite wheat crackers are not on the shelf, “No stock Ma’am” Or maybe I can not seem to find any avocados at the market, “No stock Ma’am” even occasionally the only brand of rasins I have found without spiders or beetles inside will be out of stock. I have learned to live with this. Not a big deal. I just check back the next week and usually they have stock again.

This past week, starting Monday at 2pm I had the worst toothache. If you remember, I had complained about this when I first arrived but prayed for healing and havn’t had a problem since. Well, I prayed and had people pray for me, yet the pain became worse and worse. This week I had been teaching interpreting seminars everyday. Not fully aware of what was going on around me the pain slowly overtook the entire right side of my body. I would weep at night because of the pain. Tylonal and Advil didn’t help at all. Finally, Thursday I decided I would go to the dentist, something I swore I would never do in a third world country.

During my interpreting seminar I was called to interpret at the hospital for a woman who is Deaf and in labor. So, instead of heading to the dentist I went to the maternity ward. They have 3 rooms here in the OBGYN unit. A check-in room, a labor room, and a delivery room. All which look the same but with different specialist for each section. The women are all laid out next to each other knees up ready to give birth. I don’t need to give all the details but needless to say it didn’t help any of my already existing anxieties about giving birth. And I am not sure, but I think the screaming mothers and babies made my tooth pain even worse. Another girl whom I had trained this week was able to take my place interpreting while I went to the dentist.

Once I arrived at the dentist he explained to me that my dentitst in American had put fillings over the top of infections that hadn’t healed and that is what was causing the pain. He needed to drill out the old cavities and refill them. While he was at it he decided to drill out an old Mercury filling I got when I was probably 13 because mercury is bad for me. That didn’t cost extra.

The problem came when he began to drill. I sat up, in pain, and requested Novocain. “No stock Ma’am” WHAT? How can there be no stock? This is a dentist! This is not the cracker section in the grocery store! “Do you have anything for the pain?” I exclaimed half crying out of anticipation of what I knew was to come and half crying because I was already in so much pain. “Acetaminophen” Now, I know that is the generic form of Tylenol. That didn’t help me BEFORE he started drilling my head. I declined and we began a four hour painful process.

I was able to sit up every 5 to 10 minutes and hold my head in my hands and weep because of the pain. I told him several times I wanted to go home and that I wanted my mom. He continued to apologize, I am sure you are surprised to know that didn’t help. All in all the procedures cost about $13. The medication for the antibiotics however, were much more expensive.

It is now 3 days after the appointment. Yesterday I had a terribly high fever and stayed home all day and slept. I am feeling much better today and will take some time to prepare my house and buy some fresh fruit since Josh arrives in just 19 hours!

A missionary!? Ok... so maybe i AM.....

"Are you in the Peace Corps?" they ask in hopes to show off their English speaking skills to the blond haired girl with white skin and blue eyes. For this reflection shows strength and promise in this brown skinned 3rd world country.

"No, I am a volunteer. But I have come on my own." as you could probably tell, i am this blond hair girl.

"So you are a missionary?" usually with lit up eyes this is the next expression.

"Well," she stammers, always hating that term..."my life is missions. But i am not a missionary."

This is a conversation i have had at least 15 times in the past 2 years. Maybe you have even been the one asking me. I don't know where my jaded attitude toward that label has come from, but i am more open to what it means after this past weekend.

We were able to go out on our first 'outreach' One of the high school teachers chose 5 students from the Deaf academy and we prepared a lesson in Jesus' birth. 5pm Friday afternoon we began our journey to Jagna, where 46 Deaf Elementary students awaited the arrival of the visitors they were told had activities planned for them.



we taught them new vocabulary that was related to the nativity story. The high school students acted out the entire story. in a 15 minute drama they started with Gabriel visting each Mary and Joseph all the way to the Shepherds and wisemen coming to the manger. We had color pages to relate each sign with the characters to help them understand the concept of Jesus being born.



They understood that Jesus was born. But they could not understand the importance. How do you explain the concept of a Savior to children who just found out several months earlier that they had a name? What is sin anyway? This is going to be a long process. But it seems that God has already begun the process. Mother Teresa said, 'What we are doing may just be a drop in the ocean, but the ocean would be less without that one drop.' living next to the ocean and seeing the days when the sky and ocean seem to be one in the combination of grayness... this journey is bittersweet.



After the day and a half of trying to explain that the baby Jesus acted out in recent drama was the same Jesus on the cross they see all over this 'Catholic' nation... none seem to comprehend.

I spent my last 15 minutes in Jagna trying to reiterate to a 7 year old that Jesus is spelt J-E-S-U-S.. not J-S-S-U-E... it is difficult for them to learn the letter order, much less the importance of that Holy name. It was at that moment, holding back tears when frustration wanted to arrive that my heart accepted the label, MISSIONARY. that word has become less scary, but i still prefer Kingdom Builder. I can not associate myself with those who give up their families, friends, cleanliness ect... to come to foreign places for the rest of their lives, all in His name. My life does not compare.

On a lighter note: here are some of the amazing pictures i promised in my last post... They do not do justice as to how incredible that view actually is. It brings new light to the words in Genesis when it says God created the land and the sea... How light those words seem until you see the splender, and in only 6 days! How great.. impossibly great.


i am standing on some really old volcanic rock. Bohol doesn't have volcanoes anymore..




Splendid view. This is where I will pitch my tent in just 2 weeks:




Imagine the sun rise and setting up here...Another view from where my tent will be pitched:


After riding up and down 2 mountains behind Lee... this is what I looked like: