I'm Pressing On.

I won’t sit back and take this anymore, I’m done with that. I’ve got one foot out the door, I’m Pressing On.

Coke from a bag:
(they only have glass bottles and you can't take them away from the stands, so they poor it into a bag with a straw.)


Last week Friday I woke up at 2:30a.m. just to catch the morning bus at 4:30a to reach Ubay, Bohol in order to take the 8:45a boat to Bato, Leyte. There is a van that leaves at 6am from the same bus terminal and reaches Bato about the same time, 8:45. However, I feel safer in the giant steel bus. I found myself allowing anxiety to well up inside my chest as we neared the port. I have taken this route many times in the past because it is about $7 total rather than the 30$ by plane it would take me to get to the other island.

This small boat has taken me safely to the other island many times in the past, but my confidence in its tiny structure was minimal at this moment. I even planned ahead for some kind of mishap on the ocean, so I left my laptop at home since I have pictures on it that would be lost forever should the boat sink.

Once arriving safely on the island of Leyte I had one more van ride from Bato to Tacloban. 3.5 hours later I found myself stepping into Vanessa’s car at the meeting place, McDonalds downtown Tacloban. Vanessa had bought the car in December when I was there with Josh and has now learned to drive on the crazy roads of this third world country. Somehow, I get around just fine on my motorcycle but can not imagine driving a car.

Vanessa and her car, Sam:



Friday night we met up with a few friends that I haven’t been able to see since I arrived here 6 months ago. It was much needed medicine. On Saturday Vanessa and I went all around Tacloban and had a friend, Jam, drive us everywhere. This was a more elite way of living than I have experienced here. No jeepneys, tricycles, or peddy cabs. We would just shop a little then wait for Jam to pull around and pick us up.




This place had no memories of Scott nor of Lee, so I was able to let go of all of that. Most of these people didn’t even know what had happened, so I didn’t need to spend time dwelling on it, or explaining why we were so curious about the cave in the first place. Although my mind often wondered to thoughts of Lee, I refrained from texting him all but twice, to let him know I was doing alright and to respond to his messages checking in on me.

Sunset in Samar:


Sunday morning we got up at 4am to pick up my friend from Manila, Irvin, at the airport. Since this was his first time in the province of Leyte we took him all around. The province of Samar is connected to Leyte by a giant bridge called the San Juanico bridge. It is a famous tourist place. We took a road trip about 2 hours to reach a beautiful resort on the province of Samar. This was also my first time here. We could not swim in the ocean due to the jelly fish, but I was excited to have a pool.





Monday and Tuesday were full of more touring around Leyte and laughing a lot. I had so much fun with these great friends. I love Bohol, but as I have said before, my best friends are in Tacloban. I can live without the white sandy beaches and tourist malls of Bohol if I had these friends around me all the time.

It is only 12 days now before I arrive back in the US A and I am trying to prepare myself for whatever reality might bring. But in the process of this, I realized that THIS is my reality. Right here, my Bungalow in Bohol. After each trip I took, whether it be to Indonesia, Tacloban, or just spending a night somewhere else in Bohol, I always feel relaxed coming back ‘home’.

Once returning to Bohol I took Irvin and a friend from Bohol to one of the white beaches and my favorite place to watch the sun set. It was a great end to a wonderful week with friends. who would have known there could be such great people even on this side of the world!

It is high tide right now, so it was difficult to sit in the water for a picture:











I spent all afternoon until late into the evening recapping my week with Deb and Lee. I am going to miss them the most. Their contract is up with IDEA also the end of March and they will be returning to Virginia. So, they won’t be too far away. Lee has been able to sleep the past 3 nights without medication, but his elbow is still swollen something terrible. I do not think it is normal, but the doctors here all tell him he should already have full mobilization. But he is taking it slow before trying to do pull ups again.

Things are going well. Thank you for keeping up with what is going and for the wonderful emails and messages. It has helped this time go much more smoothly. Please do not stop, as my anticipation to arrive home is heightened, I know I will really miss this place.
Preparing to leave what has become my normalcy and arrive once again into an unknown world,

Toni

It still feels like summer time here..

Lee and I spent the one week anniversary at the Maribojoc Burungy hall thanking those who swiftly came to the rescue of the ignorant foreigners. One thing I didn’t expect was the pain and anguish many of these people have also been facing since the moment they decided to break from their day of rest, climb a mountain most of them had only admired from their homes, and save some people who never should have been there to begin with.

The sincerity of the situation filled the room as Lee handed out small gifts of thanks including some sandals to three men who had broken theirs, yet continued to carry the makeshift stretcher with either Lee or Scott laying inside down the mountain barefoot. There were two men in particular who had wet eyes during the entire meeting.

Even if you have never been to a tropical place most of you know the slow pace life the people live. Piecing together the time frame that things happened I can see more and more miracles unfold within the situation. It is a huge blessing that everyone moved as quickly as they did to get everyone off the mountain before sundown.

My mind is still filled with moments of that day. I am still trusting that God has me right where he intends me to be. And somehow this brings more and more peace.

Lee went back to the Dr. yesterday and found out that he broke the small bone in his left arm also. When he arrived they only X-rayed his elbow where he was bleeding out. Since the pain continued near his wrist he went back to get another X-ray and sure enough… his forearm is broken too. His elbow seems to be healing fine, so that is good.

I had prepared a trip about a month ago to visit my friends in Leyte this coming Friday. I am still going to take this trip. I was thinking about canceling for fear of something happening on one of the small boats I take to get from the different islands. I also considered buying a plane ticket instead since it is only about 10$ more and the boats seem to sink much more frequently than a plane goes down.

I know that Scott would not want me to quit taking the adventurous path, so I will still plan on taking my unplanned itinerary. Catching either a van or a bus pending on what is leaving the soonest when I arrive at the Bus terminal, taking whatever small boat is leaving soonest to one of the two towns in Leyte that I would recognize and lastly probably riding a van the two hours down the windy mountain to the city where my heart first broke for the Deaf around the world, Tacloban. I miss my friends there.

Thank you everyone who has been praying and emailing. I appreciate every word sent my way. I tell Lee about the emails I get and that everyone back home is praying for him. He also says thanks, even though he doesn’t really believe in God. However, he lets me pray at supper when I eat over there too. They are an amazing family and we are taking care of each other well. So, don’t worry about me. I am in good hands. I always have been.

On Christ the Solid Rock I stand.

I can hardly believe a whole week has passed by already. I am glad it is over, but can't really place where i was for most of it.

Scott's memorial here in the Philippines was beautiful. A fire on one of the white beaches. The moon was overwhelmingly orange as it slowly rose from what seemed to be behind the ocean, almost as if it was imitating the sun rising. i have never seen anything like it. The world seemed flat. It lost its orange glow after it had risen several meters into the night sky. I am of course only using my arm lengths to measure the sky. since I am not a astrologist, i have no other equipment.

We told stories of Scott around a fire and lit candles inside of coconut halves, wadding into the ocean and releasing them together, symbolizing a collective freeing of his spirit. it was beautiful. He is in Australia now and they will bury him at his favorite place on his parent's farm this coming Tuesday.



When my world falls apart and the light turns to dark
When the clouds gather ‘round and the storms overwhelm
When my heart breaks in half and my strength cannot last
When I’m lost in this land and I can’t see Your plan...

I'll Stand.

God's Glory is all around.

As I lay awake in the early hours of Friday morning still unable to remain sleeping after the initial hour I am capable of obtaining, most of you are well into your Thursday routines. Instead of counting sheep I have carefully numbered all three calendars in my possession from 29 down to the day I plan to leave. I could make a paper chain with 29 links. But I picture myself dramatically ripping off one link a day and being unsatisfied with the short moment of gratification that act would bring. So instead, I will write another blog.

Since arriving here in September I have been blessed with getting to know Lee Duncan, his wife Deborah and their three boys. Harrison (8), Jordan (6), and William (5). The boys all refer to me as Miss Toni and William says in the most genuine voice almost every time I enter their home, while grabbing my hand, “ wow Miss Toni, you are Beautiful today.”

My very first adventure was only a week after I had arrived. It just so happened to be my birthday. I went to a waterfall with their entire family. It was about a 40 minute motorcycle ride and then about a 30 minute walk through some jungle area. We had a few children from the burungy leading us. There were three caves you could swim into all in that same pool. Many first time experiences for me:
1. seeing a waterfall
2. jumping off of a waterfall
3. swimming into a cave underneath a waterfall
4. having a 6 year old talk me into climbing up high again and again to jump into the gleaming blue pool below.



Deb, Lee, and Jordan just leaped from the top:


I had begun to look forward to the adventures with Lee. Even when we would go visit the elementary schools around the island I knew we would accidentally find some side road that probably had something interesting for us to examine at the end, or at least along the way. I had come to appreciate the incredible beauty this place held.




Even before I was a Christian I remember the amazement I had with the beauty of nature. Most of my interest came in following Chanda around. We would always find some kind of plant and try to taste it to see if it was edible. Especially after moving onto the farm, I was introduced to God’s beauty in a way that the town didn’t offer.

Of course, the beauty of what God created on this side of the world looks much different than that on the farm. But I have come to appreciate it just as much. Many of the places Lee has taken me to he discovered with Scott, or was introduced to the place by Scott. So, thank you Scott. I never had an urgent feeling to visit Australia, but Scott has some great places to visit in his home country as well. I have heard from his friends that the farm his parents own is a beautiful sight and worth the trip alone.

Several years ago I had eaten at a Chinese restaurant with my new laptop (at that time.) The fortune inside my cookie said, “Take the chance while you still have the choice.” It has been taped on my laptop ever since. I bring it up only because this was a motto that Scott lived by. Even though he was only 30 years old, he had a lot of adventure and did a lot of great things. His best friend told me that Scott would always say, “if you want to be somewhere, Go There. If you want to do something, Do It.” These are not new ideas to any of us. But a good reminder to those of you who may be sitting there paying off your mortgage, planning to retire and wondering why it is you never did… Go There, Do It.

RIP Scott...

I am sitting here in the quiet listening to the crickets, roosters, and lizards trying to makes sense of the last couple days.

As soon as i saw the vast mountain range I tried to mentally prepare myself for the steep climb ahead. we parked our motorcycles underneath the closest mango tree and tried to get ourselves situated. Scott moved my bike because he thought the way i parked it was not sufficient. I made a comment how I am used to letting guys think they are helping me out. :)

The climb was steep and i was complaining already about 15 minutes up. My ears popped and i had lost most of the energy i was hoping my bowl of oatmeal and mango would provide through the afternoon. We did stop several times to enjoy the beautiful scenery of the ocean and mountains behind us. Scott told us some story about elves helping out the locals. I only wish now I would have paid closer attention to what he was saying.

After about an hour we reached a house and about 30 minutes later reached the cave. It was a beautiful place a little ways off the trails. The giant spider webs suggested that nobody has been there, at least not for a long time. The tree leading to the cave was beautiful and hung over it as if it was protecting something. I assessed the area and began destroying cob webs as soon as i knew where i wanted to set down my bag. Scott and Lee began discussing the possibilities of what might be below.

We tied the rope to a nearby tree and lowered down a bag of supplies. By the time the bag reached the bottom we had run out of rope. So we knew that it was 150ft deep, 8ft wide, and about 20ft long. Scott insisted on being the first one down. He began testing the rope, deciding if it was going to be safe or not. A few moments later he said that he was kind of slipping and we decided not to go down. So he said, pull me up.. Lee began to pull the rope back up and Scott said he couldn't hang on.. and he let go. He fell from the top of the cave.

Lee yelled a couple times to see if Scott would respond and we heard nothing. He decided to go down and administer first aid. I took of running with my cell phone to find the nearby house we passed. nobody was around and i realized that i had just left before I knew if Lee had made it safely to the bottom. So i ran back to cave.

Lee had only made it safely to the bottom but fell about 30 ft onto his left side breaking his elbow. i took Harrison and we went to go get help. I was completely disoriented and took a few wrong turns. after an hour and a half i was able to get some cell phone service. realizing now I was about 2 miles from the cave.

I can not remember what was actually going through my mind until after i had reached someone to come and get help. The SWAT team arrived along with the fire department, mountaineering club, locals, and friends of ours to search the mountains. Nobody knew where the cave was and I didn't even know the name of the place we were at.

I found out later that the SWAT came in because the area we were trekking is a well known area for the NPA (new people's army... a terrorist group here). that also explains why there were no other houses or anyone living on that mountain.

After a couple hours of trying to direct the SWAT team, they made it to the cave and contacted me to let me know. I grabbed Harrison and we went back onto the trail and I tried to backtrack the same way we came... There was a group of people out yelling for us. The way the mountain range is laid out, the voices are very misleading. about four times it sounded like people's voices were so close and we were trying to follow where it was coming from, then we would loose them completely and not hear anything for a long time. But we were able to meet up with them on the path right before dark and get off the mountain. i had never been so relieved to see a group of Filipinos.

they were able to get Scott and Lee out of the cave. Lee is out of the hospital now and Scott's body is in Manila with the Australian Embassy getting ready to go back to his parent's home.

Scott is an amazing guy. He was only in the Philippines for 2 years but made a huge impact on the environmental causes in several towns as well as touched many lives. His memorial was held at a beach last night. The stories people told were really great to hear. I still can not really grasp the reality of the situation. But i know that God has had his hand in it. we were able to get off the mountain before dark.

I don't know how to end this... because it is still processing in my mind. I thought after writing this it would be better... but my head is still spinning.

i got all of our belongings from the police department yesterday and got the pictures off my camera today. but i think i will not post any of them.